Sometimes Losing is Winning

Have you ever felt like the universe has joined forces with your conscious in an effort to keep you on track…but you see it as a challenge and go out of your way to mess up because you’re not gonna let the universe bully you?

No?  It’s just me?

Whatever. 

On Friday I brought a southwest salad to work. Normally I add cilantro lime chicken to the salad but I gave up meat for Lent so the chicken wasn’t an option.  I bought some Santa Fe tortilla strips to enhance my salad but, me being me, I forgot to put them in my lunch bag.

I didn’t want to eat the salad plain so I grabbed my debit card and headed to the vending machine for some Doritos.  Doritos are okay, right?  I mean…I could eat one half of the bag on Friday and the other half on Saturday, and if I put in a little extra time on the treadmill it won’t matter, right?

I had it all figured out in my head, so imagine my dismay when I got to the vending machine and flashing across the display in big letters was, “PLEASE USE CASH.”

What the hell?  I don’t carry cash because if I carried cash I’d wind up at the vending machine and the only reason I’m trying to use my debit card today is because this is an EMERGENCY!!!!!!

I may have actually said that out loud because the man I didn’t realize was sitting in the break room chuckled softly.

EMBARASSING.

The universe won that day and I rationalized my failure as a life lesson.  I didn’t need the Doritos.  More than likely, I wasn’t going to stop at half and I was probably going to end up eating the whole bag.  That vending machine saved my life.

On Saturday I remember the Santa Fe tortilla strips and my salad was magical.

Then came Sunday.

Sigh.

I forgot the tortilla strips again, so I had a huddle with my conscious and the universe about a Doritos strategy. 

Only eat half the bag.

Do an extra mile on the treadmill.

Don’t lick your fingers.

Your salad NEEDS this!

OK. BREAK!

Unfortunately, the vending machine still had that pesky “PLEASE USE CASH” nonsense scrolling across the display but I was not to be deterred.  That wasn’t the only vending machine in the building so I moseyed over to one a little further away.  The credit card reader was working…but there were no Doritos.  I shook my fist angrily.  “Dammit, Universe!!  You’ve got jokes!!!”

I was now on a mission.  Damn the Universe and its’ not so subtle way of trying to keep me on track.  I wanted some Doritos and I was gonna have them!

I trekked even further to a break room across the building. 

It. Was. Broken.

**blank stare**

Now, I could have taken these L’s and just gone back to my desk, but noooooooooo.  At this point, I was mad and I felt like I could hear the Universe and my conscious laughing at me. I had to win, even if it meant I was gonna be a loser.

The only other option was to walk all the way downstairs to see if the dining room vending machine had my precious chips.

Doritos? Check!

Vending machine in working order?  CHECK!

Credit card reader working?  CHECK!

I clapped my hands, swiped my card, and double checked the number three times to make sure I selected the right chips.

The Doritos fell.

Somewhere in the background I thought I heard an angel singing.

As I walked back upstairs to my office I had an epiphany.  Yes, I outsmarted my conscious and the universe by getting my Doritos…but was it worth all of the time and effort it took to do it?

**crunches on a Dorito**

Yep.

Sometimes you have to treat yourself.  If you don’t, you’ll leave yourself open for larger failures.  I’d rather treat myself to a small bag of Doritos every now and then, than binge on an entire box of Girl Scout Cookies because my idea of a good lifestyle change is to completely deprive myself of something until I lose control.

Been there and done that.

**Hops on the treadmill**

**Doesn’t do the extra mile**

Ebony FarashuuComment