Sometimes I’m a Vegetarian

Look at how mad my dog is because I wouldn’t share my veggie burger with her...

Look at how mad my dog is because I wouldn’t share my veggie burger with her...

I’m a vegetarian. 

Well...actually I’m a pescatarian because when I DO eat meat, I choose to eat seafood.

Well...I eat seafood when it’s available but when it’s not I eat...other stuff. 

MEAT, okay? I eat meat. 

Let’s start over.

I’m an aspiring vegetarian.   It’s a lofty I would have no problem reaching if there weren’t so many delicious meats being thrown in my face. 

For instance, last Wednesday my job had Mediterranean food catered in. I love Mediterranean food and I was pleased with the options provided. 

“What do we have here?” I asked myself as I browsed the buffet. “Is that RICE? Yaaaassss! Are those kalamata olives in that salad? Oh my goodness, ARE THOSE STUFFED GRAPE LEAVES?” 

My plate runneth over with tasty vegetarian options until I realized they also had grilled chicken.

Listen.  Everyone knows vegetarian dishes taste better with chicken, ok?

I couldn’t resist.

It was just sitting there whispering my name.

The chicken was like, “Yo, Eb! They grilled me, Sis. I’m seasoned to perfection.”

And I was like, “Word?”

So....yeah.  I ate some, and it was good until it wasn’t. 

You see, for some reason, when I eat chicken I have a 60/40 chance of getting sick. With beef and pork there is a 100 percent chance that I will intestinally regret my decision. 

I didn’t get sick that day, but why take the chance?

Meat makes me sluggish. It makes me bloated, it makes me cramp, it makes me sick.

No, I’m not trying to convince anyone to stop eating meat. I’m just sharing my personal experience over the past year.

For me, It’s an addiction and although I know what it does to me...I just keep eating it.

As I type this I have now been meatless for 2 day’s.  

I went to Whole Paycheck, I mean Whole Foods and bought some suspiciously convincing vegetarian “hamburger” patties and some five-dollar hamburger uns.

I prayed the entire time the patty was in the skillet, “Please don’t suck!”

It didn’t suck.

It was delicious.

And now I have a new outlook on my new lifestyle choice because I’m tired of making excuses. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of constantly explaining my food failures away by saying, “I’ll just start over tomorrow.”

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

I need to take care of myself today.



Ebony Farashuu1 Comment